Australia Panic

mixed feelings...

I think this will be my last entry in perth for 2005... today i guess will probaby be the last night i spend in perth also for this year..

Throughout this year, there are really alot happy and unhappy incidents which passed through. I should say that it is really lucky that often unhappy incidents are short lived while things are longer on the bright side compare to the previous years that i have.

On friendship side, i did make quite a number of friends especially my floor-mates in currie hall. It is really great to get to know them as they are from different countries and each of us has unexpectedly similarly characters which lead to the reason why we are so clickish. Of course, along the journey, there are minor problems, disatisfaction popping up between each person's heart. But eventually, we understand each other better and got closer in the end. Even though this year i have a small 21st birthday with friends in perth, i am really greatful to them since at first we do not really not each other well and yet whole gang still celebrated it for me.

The 2nd highlight i guess is the road trip up north from perth. This was my first time going to a trip with friends. Even though we incur high expenses and long boring car journeys, overall, it was a very unique and happy trip. This added on with the visit to the desert and the dramatic black-jack games at night. I really wish that i can have another exciting road trip along with the same friends that went with me next year.

On the bad side, i guess i just blogged it out 2 weeks ago bah.. Well, right now i don't really feel angry, or sense of regret. I just feel why fate has left us in this state. It was just a small misunderstanding and everything turns haywire. I really dun know to talk to her or what. I remember i de jiu her once( that was entirely my fault), and now history had repeated itself again. Maybe things will settle down if we don't talk to each other, and we will become friends again, but i just afraid that things might turn back the same thing to character difference. I already had prepared that we shoudn't be friends anymore and left things as it is. However, isn't that i am trying to avoid things? And what shall we do when we passed each other without saying hi even though before the misunderstanding we are close friends?

if only life was much simpiler...
how i wish time will goes back..

On studies side, it was really off. I admit that i play too much of DOTA. And looking back, i started to feel a sense of regret and guilt. After all i am aware, back home, my mom tried to save as much as she can, by eating peaunts, never even went out for meal, just for the purpose to save money so that i can secure my degree in perth. Of course, i did study and able to achieve credible grades throughout the semester, just that i think screwed up my final exam. I just hope that my Law will pass since it was the weakest unit in semester 2.

Relationship side. Well, once again, it turned out to bea chain of short-lived unexpected hurting events. Well, i shouldn't talk about that side since it is not happy. Just to summarize, i didn fall in love with someone which i used to be (90% love 10% others). Everything just changed by fixing another ratio ( 40% love 10% gundam 50% other). It is really proven that life is much happier that one shoudn focus too much on relationship.Maybe due to pass experiences that make me feel that way. However, on the other side, isn't it that only true love that will make one gain true happinness? So does it means that doing part performance will receive true happiness instead? i am quite tired pondering the question by myself.

frankly speaking, since primary school, i never know and taste what is something called true happinness. I forget what happiness means... everytime i try to think what is the meaning, there is a sligh chill passes through my heart. Yet the fact that nobdy will feel and i have to swallow the pain myself.

but of course life shouldn be so dull with relationship and everything. I will not be pulled down by relationship alone. As i did say above, overall.. it was a good year.

To those people who read this blog, there are times i am really mean and i know that i had de jiu you or someone indirectly or directly. I apologize for what i did and i will try to improve myself in the followering year. But take note that i didn't mean it, it was meant to be a joke to make people around us laugh. So i hope you will "ti liang" abit for my stupid character.

posted by Gabriel Chan @ 6:07 PM